Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
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