if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
