Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
