ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
