go do what you do best...puke behind churches
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
