the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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