It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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