Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is it because I queefed?
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
As shirtless as possible
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
