At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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