Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize