he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
