so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
