I think I died a long time ago.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Randomize
