U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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