just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
