i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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