Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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