i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I think your dad took our porno
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
