The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
