Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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