I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
thus making me awesome and them whores
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
