is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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