Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
