Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
