ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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