the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
