I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
