I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
