yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
