mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
BRING THE BAGELS
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
