Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
