I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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