I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
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