i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
