we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
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