toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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