So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize