So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
