Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
