I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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