Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
