Sry I called you an 8
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
