I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
she peed on how many people?
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
