So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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