it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
did i walk over a car last night?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
