Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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