fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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