Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
