How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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