It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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