I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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