So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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