I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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