remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
