Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
