There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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