its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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