is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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