Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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